Opened only in May 2010, ex-Army man Ryan Lord’s Trimmeryou Boot Camp has come a long way in a short time – and it is now a boot camp I’m happy to recommend highly. Yet that hasn’t always been the case; there was plenty wrong with the product when I first went there in February 2010. Ryan, however, has put things right so swiftly that it’s easy for me, today, to pen a very positive review. And also, alas, so swiftly that he’s allowed Trimmeryou’s website to get rather too carried away with itself.
So, before coming on to all the good things Trimmeryou Boot Camp does, let’s get the negative stuff out of the way. The website is a bit hit and miss. Unoriginal, in that it seems largely a composite of what similar camps say about themselves, and amateur in places e.g. providing no link to their quoted press articles. Which brings me, appropriately enough, to my first gripe. The much-trumpeted national awards, festooning Trimmeryou’s homepage, are both pretty meaningless – just passing, lightweight quips for sexy copy in ‘Zest’ and ‘Style Bible’, neither piece long nor, in all fairness, making any claim to have researched the subject fully either. If they had done, they’d know by now that it’s totally impossible to nominate any one camp as ‘ Best Overall Boot Camp’ - as if one camp would suit everyone, when everyone’s needs are different. And precisely why, of course, this site employs four separate categories – ‘Best Holistic Boot Camp’, ‘ Best Budget Boot Camp’, ‘ Best Mixed Boot Camp’ & ‘Best Women Only Boot Camp’ – to reflect that diversity of requirements. So, for the purposes of this review at least, Trimmeryou is coming back down to earth and competing in the category of ‘ Best Women Only Boot Camp’.
Prematurely and wrongly – in my view – Ryan’s website loudly proclaims that Trimmeryou has already won that title, being ” the only five star women only boot camp in the uk “, as , basically, Horspool Farm was rated 5 star Gold by the British Tourist Board. But then, current holder of the title – Prestige Boot Camp – has not one, but two Gold Standard awards for Higher Wiscombe Farm, from other British Tourist Authorities, and blazons its five star pedigree all across its homepage. He must have known that – but it didn’t stop him writing what he did. Yet, in one way, Ryan has a point. I would have to agree that, technically speaking, Horspool Farm is a superior venue to Higher Wiscombe. But, that doesn’t make it better – because, in contrast to the delightfully warm vibe and gorgeous setting of Higher Wiscombe Farm, Horspool is chilly-all-white minimalism, somewhat impersonal, short on seductive character, and in a mildly grim setting at the end of a cul-de-sac, looking onto bleak , flat fields with no animal or crop in sight. What’s more, I’m not entirely persuaded that a top luxury boot camp should be putting 33% of its clients(7 out of 20) into triple & quad rooms. All Prestige’s rooms are en-suite singles or twins, offering the sort of privacy luxury expects. In fact, rather than being Trimmeryou’s strongest point, I’d see its venue as being its weakest point. I know a relocation was being talked about – and until that happens I can’t see Prestige, who have, too, the doyen of trainers in Iain Reitze, losing their title just yet. But it was a very difficult call to make, and one which I agonised over for ages, trying to be fair and right. Ryan’s day may well yet come – and it will hardly be a surprise to anyone if and when it does.
Now for all the good news and why, although not quite up with Prestige yet, Trimmeryou is none the less a top boot camp. Just look, for a moment, at its very attractive prices. Whether in Spain or England, Trimmeryou is coming in at hundreds of pounds less. In England, for example, their en-suite twin share is only £825 for the week, a whopping £425 less Prestige’s £1250! Same story in Spain, too, with even £300 difference between their official price of £995 and Prestige’s special offer price of £1295! At the luxury level, these are some of the best value-for-money deals in the country – and that’s why Trimmeryou Boot Camp deserves the full five stars in that category. But just remember that in England you have to book early to enjoy those price breaks, because rooms are allocated strictly on a ‘first come, first served’ basis. Miss those twins, and its a triple or quad for you – which is not so posh at all. Although the huge triple jacuzzi room would be a lot of fun for a girl gang of three, and brilliant value for money too.
The food, I’m happy to report, is superb – and worthy of its full five stars in that category. Copying Prestige again, they have introduced a fine dining chef, Freddy Mostyn from London’s Dorchester Hotel. With the undoubted benefit of a £100,000 kitchen to work in, he’s going to serve you amazing breakfasts for a boot camp. How about Smoked Haddock & Mushrooms with Spinach? Or snacks, constantly changing and eternally interesting, like Miso Soup with Oat Cakes. Rare to see imagination like that at a boot camp, Dinner, too, might well be Grilled Cajun Fish with Butter Bean Mash & Vegetables – but, like every meal, it will be accompanied by a jug of ice-cold sparkling mineral water, with a twist of lemon. Apples & Pears, Prestige and Phoenix Boot Camp all do the same thing – or, at least, I hope they’ve kept their word to me and are continuing to do so still – because it’s one of my biggest bugbears that being obliged to drink only plain tap water with every single meal is depressingly boring, utterly joyless and quite unnecessary. We suffer enough at boot camp already, don’t we? Finally, on the subject of food, Trimmeryou has actually come up with an idea which, as far as I know, is all its own: the concept of two menus. If you’re there for weight loss, you get 1250 calories a day; if you’re there for fitness boosting, you get 1800 calories a day. And, yes, there are people who head off to boot camp with every intention of enjoying it.
The activities programme at Trimmeryou is fine, too. Led by the regular, settled duo of handsome, young ex-Marine, Alex, (idle question: why are ex-Marines always the best-looking trainers?) and very experienced RAF PTI, Stu Burns, you’ll be put through your paces alright – ex-Marines are always the toughest on you, too. But, as in all our best boot camps, everything is doone in a friendly, civilised way: you don’t start before 7am in the morning, and nothing strenuous is ever expected of you after dinner. The heated indoor pool and the hot tub are a great bonus for all those people needing to unwind tight muscles and soothe sore joints during the week – and, if I had my way, they’d be compulsory features at every boot camp. Surprisingly, our two Best Budget Boot Camps (Back2Basics & Bootcamp Beach) both offer pool/sauna/jacuzzi complexes, whilst too many of our more expensive boot camps do not. I can’t say anything about the lady who is to be the new bootcamp manager; she doesn’t arrive till 2012. But I can say that I have one reservation about Trimmeryou’s course: there doesn’t seem to me to be enough emphasis on the psychological side. Because, as we all know, decisive boot camp battles are only ever won and lost in the mind. Yet the website text is almost exclusively physical: there’s virtually no mention made of any intention to put your head straight for you, and keep it straight. Exercising and dieting – on their own – are not always going to do the trick for everyone. More Neuro-Linguistic Programming is what I’m saying, in a nutshell.
With Trimmeryou, Ryan Lord has already created a very good boot camp indeed. With time – and a bit of tweaking – I’m sure he’ll turn it into a great one.
Accommodation: Set in the Trent River Valley countryside, a touch north east of Nottingham, Horspool Farm – rated 5 Star Gold by The British Tourist Board – is one huge, rambling, hi-tech, ultra-modern, all-designer-white make-over, complete with just about every facility you could wish for.
Capacity: 20. F only.
Duration: 7 nts. (4pm Friday – Friday 10am). 5nts also available.
Cost: Sgle £1200(en-suite), £1100(shared bathroom). All other rooms at £825 – whether Twin en-suite/shared bathroom or Quad en-suite or Triple jacuzzi room, allocated on the basis of ‘ first come, first served’. 5nt stays can be had for£649.
Price includes: All food, lodging and activities which typically include gym-style work-outs plus acqua aerobics, boxing, team games, military tasking, fat-burning interval training, hikes through Sherwood Forest & Clumber National Park, mountain biking through Sherwood Pines, first day Motivational Talk, 3 Nutrition Workshops, picture CD of your week, T shirt, certificate of achievement inc.15% lifetime discount & aftercare programme.
Evening Events: Yoga, indoor pool/hot tub/jacuzzi, Tvs in all but the Quad Room, DVDs in lounge & Champagne Gala Dinner on final night.
Optional Extras: Variety of massages (Thai, Swedish, Indian, Reflexology etc.)Sports Massage £25(30 mins)/£45(1hr.).
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